KUNT'S LYRICS
LYRICS BY ALBUM
SONGS
A
A cup of teaA little baby with a lady’s cunt
A lonely wank in a Travelodge
A semi-on with a drop of pre-cum
Air hostess
All I want for Christmas is you (to bring me off)
Amy (it’s a terrible shamey)
Angry Birds gave me piles
Arranged Bride
C
Can't work, won't workCarol Vorderman
Cheer up, you cunt
Chips or tits
Christmas clearout (yuletide log)
Cock in a cunt
Craig had pubes when he was nine
F
Female refereeFemale referee (sexist version)
Feminine Itch
Five people died on the M25
For a million pounds
Fred and Rose
Fucksticks
H
Harry is our manHave a wank
Have a wank (acoustic)
Have you seen my snowman?
Having a wank in Happyland
Heather Mills
Hurry up and suck me off before I get famous
I
I shit my pantsI sucked off a bloke
I think I might be middle class
I want to do a poo at Paul’s
I was pissed out of my head
If in doubt get your corey out
If you don't like this song you're a fucking cunt
I'm gonna lick you out
I’m gonna think of you
It can’t be rape (it’s Christmas)
It were nothing to do with me
It’s just a butterfly
It’s my party
I've got a plan (based on Maddie McCann)
J
Jesus (baby with a beard)Jesus died of a stranglewank
Jimmy Savile and the sexy kids
Just can’t get enough
L
Let’s fuck about with fireworksLet's go commando
Let's have a wank for England
Let's have a wank for England (2010)
Let's send Nan to Dignitas
Life
Lovely jubbly
M
Make sure that she's rankMeet Jade Goody
Men with beards (What are they hiding?)
Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
Michael Jackson tribute
Mum’s rubber glove
My bumrape place
My cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak
My fucking mental friend
My homeless friend
My mum found my wankmags
My nob is a great big nob
My nob is bigger than your nob
P
P.O.P.U.L.A.R.Paperboy
Paul Stephenson’s party
Penis Extension
Period pants
Perverts on the internet
Pippa Middleton
Political correctness gone mad
Princess Di (I'll wank and I will cry)
Pubes
Pubic Hair
S
Santa’s sackSeedy Affair
Shannon Shannon (living in my flat)
Shannon Shannon (where can you be?)
Shannon ain't dead (she's under my bed)
Shaven haven
Shaven haven (acoustic)
(Shitting on) a picture of the Queen
Simon Cowell (#dirtyprotest)
Sit down wee
Soapy Tit Wank
T
Teach your kids to smokeThat's my erection
That’s why I’m voting UKIP
The FGM Calypso
The Queen's cunt
The abortion song
The birds and the bees
The bloke up the garage fucked a sheep
The cure for depression
The illegal download song
The loveliest lulu in Langdon Hills
The twelve days of Christmas
The two finger test
The worst thing in the world
The wrong Ian Watkins
There's a child molester living in Grays
Things
This Christmas
Tourettes girlfriend
Tracey, stop bringing black blokes back
Twenty four hours from Tilbury
Two of a kind