It were nothing to do with me lyrics

I’ve got one or two things
I’d like to get off my chest
When I hear these accusations
It makes me feel distressed
I may not be the world’s best mum
But I try my fookin best
So please don’t judge the way I talk
Or the way that I am dressed

Because…
It were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me
I didn’t fookin do owt
I were in watching TV
I’ll look you in the eye
And tell you I can guarantee
I only keep crying
Because I’m not lying
It were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me

I know I’m not as eloquent
As cunting Kate McCann
And I’m not as skinny
We don’t follow the same diet plan
And I haven’t got her money
More’s the fookin pity
But look I’m crying actual tears
Now fookin acquit me

Because…
It were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me
I didn’t fookin do owt
I were in watching TV
I’ll look you in the eye
And tell you I can guarantee
Michael Donovan snatched her
To the beam he attached her
But it were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me

Michael’s a mentalist like Barry George
Even his name is fake
He changed it to be like the hero of V
He used to be called Paul Drake
You can’t believe anything he says
He lives in a world of lies
So fookin acquit me, I wouldn’t shit thee
And I could murder a burger and fries

Because…
It were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me
I didn’t fookin do owt
I were in watching TV
I’ll look you in the eye
And tell you I can guarantee
I didn’t do the abduction
Make that your deduction
It were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me

Mrs. Matthews, you are going
To jail where you belong
As all the evidence suggests
You started it all along
You have no case, so might as well face
That you are in the wrong
As wrong as the image of you bent over
In nothing but a thong

But…
It were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me
I didn’t fookin do owt
I were in watching TV
I’ll look you in the eye
And tell you I can guarantee
I didn’t abduct her
I suspect Michael fucked her
But it were nothing to do with me
It were nothing to do with me