Different dads lyrics

I first got in the family way
When I were in my teens
A bloke stuck his winky in my flange
And then he done his beans
I hadn’t thought of babies
II didn’t have it planned
Twelve years later I’ve got seven kids
It’s all got out of hand

Different dads
They’ve all got different dads
And every one reminds me
Of a bunk up that I’ve had
One were conceived up an alley
And two behind some bins
Three and four have got the same dad
So we call them the twins

Yes, three and four have got the same dad
So we call them the twins

Me next one I were drunk one night
And had a one night stand
I hadn’t thought of babies
I didn’t have it planned
I fell pregnant once again
And started to expand
Then the social doubled me benefit and I thought
‘That’s really grand’

Different dads
They’ve all got different dads
And every one reminds me
Of a bunk up that I’ve had
Five’s dad had a slaphead
And six’s were mixed race
That’s why he’s got curly hair
And a slightly darker face

Aah, so that’s why he’s got curly hair
And a slightly darker face

So I left me flat and got a house
And got pregnant by this chap
He were a fookin arsehole
And sex with him were crap
He couldn’t find me clitoris
I said, “D’you need a fookin map?”
He said, “Your cunt’s so wide it should have an announcement
That says ‘Mind the gap’”
Different dads
They’ve all got different dads
And every one reminds me
Of a bunk up that I’ve had
One’s dad ran a kebab van
And two’s worked in KFC
He gave us popcorn chicken every time we fooked
He were right good to me

He gave her popcorn chicken every time they fooked
He were right good to thee

So I ended up here with Craig
He’s me youngest’s dad
At least that’s what I told him
He don’t know about that other lad
If he ever asks me
I’ll tell him for the best
“Get us on Trisha then you lazy wee cunt
And I’ll do a DNA test”

Different dads
They’ve all got different dads
And every one reminds me
of a bunk up that I’ve had
Five’s dad were paraplegic
And six’s were a Turk
Seven’s dad done me up the wrongun
I’m not sure how that one worked?

I thought that gave you a backwards baby
So I’m not sure how that one worked