Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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It can’t be rape (it’s Christmas)

Rape is a despicable crime
It’s not about sex it’s about power
But what if as a treat on Christmas eve
The government legalised it for 24 hours

I like to think out of decency
A rape I’d never commit
But what if I was drunk and I was in a club
And I saw you in a short skirt asking for it

Then I’d probably get you in my car car car car car
Then I’d drive real far far far far far
Pull off your knickers and your bra bra bra bra bra
Then I’d drag you in the woods and deliver the goods

Because there’s other laws with which I comply
Despite them making life dull and listless
So it wouldn’t be my fault, that sexual assault
Because it can’t be rape (it’s Christmas)


Christmas is a wonderful time
For family and the giving of gifts
But what about if I followed you on Christmas eve
Into the underground car park’s lifts

Then I’d force you on the ground ground ground ground ground
And tell you not to make a sound sound sound sound sound
Then I’d pull your knickers down down down down down
And without further ado, make a woman of you


Because there’s other laws with which I comply
Despite them making life dull and listless
So I’d state, “That violation was backed by legislation”
Cos it can’t be rape (it’s Christmas)


But don’t you worry it’s all pie in the sky
There’s more chance of an alive Elvis Presley
Unless of course by some quirk of fate
The Prime Minister’s replaced by John Leslie
LYRICS BY ALBUM Support Kunt! Download legally! Lyrics
Kiss You Under
The Camel Toe