Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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The Musical
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I’VE GOT A PLAN (BASED ON MADDIE McCANN)

I’ve had enough of scheming
And messing round with pricks
My car is parked outside
I’m afraid it’s up on bricks
Cos I had to take my alloys
Down to Cash Converters
I’ll get ‘em back on giro day

I saw an episode of Shameless
Where young Liam went missing
Hear me now, I’ve got a plan
Before you start dismissing
It turned out his sister Debbie
Was behind it all along
She plotted it to try and make it pay

I’ve got a plan
I’ve got a plan
I’ve got a plan based on Maddie McCann

She’s got a plan
She’s got a plan
She’s got a plan based on Maddie McCann

I’ve got a plan
You’ve got plenty of kids
Let’s make a few quid
You’ve got a plan
I’ve got the sprogs
Let’s make a few bob

I’ve done the football pools for years
I’m stuck in a routine
I’ve had fuck all off the Lottery
I’ve never won a bean
I’ve spent thirty pound on scratchcards
And I only won a quid
The answer’s as clear as can be

All we need’s my kid, some drugs
And a little perseverance
The McCanns have fucking raked it in
With Maddie’s disappearance
We can make a fortune too
If we do it right
And what’s more, I’ll get on the TV

I’ve got a plan
I’ve got a plan
I’ve got a plan based on Maddie McCann

She’s got a plan
She’s got a plan
She’s got a plan based on Maddie McCann

I’ve got a plan
You’ve got plenty of kids
Let’s make a few quid
You’ve got a plan
I’ve got the sprogs
Let’s make a few bob
Let’s make a few bob
Let’s make a few bob