Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Knocked Out Earlier
Air Hostess

I was on board my flight with EasyJet, it was really cheap
I'd had a skinful at the airport and I thought I'd go to sleep
But then I saw the stewardess walking down the aisle
She was in full uniform and wearing a false smile

That pretend look of enjoyment stirred something in my head
It reminded me of all the girls I'd ever got in bed
Her skin was bright orange and her hair was bleached blonde
But the moment that I saw her I knew we had a bond

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
All it takes is a shake
Of your digits round my snake
Failing that I'll have a coffee
And a dried-up piece of cake


And then the bloke beside me woke and he had halitosis
So I wedged my cock into a sock to prevent deep-vein thrombosis
And then the stewardess appeared with our airline meal
I wish she'd drop her trolleys and give my cock a feel

I'm not a member of the mile high club, I don't think wanks apply
So I thought some chat up lines might be worth a try
I made a joke about ‘plane’ crisps and then undid my fly
And my impression of an elephant seemed to catch her eye

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
All it takes is a shake
Of your digits round my snake
Failing that I'll have a coffee
And a dried-up piece of cake

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
It's not a joke, I'd be stoked
If I could give your chuff a poke
Failing that, I'll have some shrink-wrapped nuts
And a tiny can of Coke
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