My cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak lyrics

My cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak
It’s not just my opinion; if you see him it’s a fact
He never wears a football shirt, but one thing of which I’m sure
Is every time I see my cousin, he looks like Pavel more

Pavel comes from Russia he was signed by Martin Jol
My cousin came out my uncle’s cock and up my auntie’s hole
Where he grew into an embryo and out my auntie’s crack
Was born a baby that looked like Pavel Pogrebnyak

My cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak
It’s not just my opinion; if you see him it’s a fact
I’ve not seen Pavel’s family but wouldn’t it be mad
If my aunt and uncle looked like Pavel’s mum and dad

At Spartak Moscow FC, Pavel started his career
My cousin studied in Nottingham, then became an engineer
My cousin’s name is Matthew, he doesn’t play football
Pavel’s name is Pavel, which is Russian for Paul

My cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak
It’s not just my opinion; if you see him it’s a fact
The resemblance that my cousin bears to Pavel is uncanny
Though being a professional footballer, I bet Pavel gets more fanny

Pavel moved to Fulham from Stuttgart in Germany
Then to Reading on a Bosman, that means there was no transfer fee
My cousin moved to Denmark. That’s where his girlfriend’s from
Pavel got 2 goals in Reading’s win over West Brom

My cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak
It’s not just my opinion; if you see him it’s a fact
To see a likeness quite like that, a long way you’d have to travel
Such is the similarity of my cousin to Pavel

That’s why I wrote this poem, not to snipe, mock or attack
Just to say my cousin looks like Pavel Pogrebnyak