Having a wank in Happyland lyrics
In Mothercare they’ve got a brand
Of children’s toys called Happyland
There’s a happy town and a happy farm
Even the Happyland Emo doesn’t self-harm
I often wish that I could go there
And do what makes me happy without a care
So I shut my eyes and put my nob in my hand
And now I’m having a wank in Happyland
I’m having a wank in Happyland
And no one gives a damn
If only the real world could be like this
I’d be such a happy man
I’m wanking in the garage
I’m wanking in the baker’s queue
I’m wanking in the post office
And all around the zoo
On the double decker bus
The people turn to me and smile
To see that I’ve removed my cock
And I’m rolling round wanking in the aisle
The bus it travels all round town
As Happyland just passes by
I’m wanking into a cigarette packet
And no one even bats an eye
I’m having a wank in Happyland
And no one gives a damn
If only the real world could be like this
I’d be such a happy man
I seagull the mechanic
But he doesn’t give chase
So I stroll down to the old bill station
And wank my cock in a policeman’s face
Oh look, here comes the vicar now
There’s a wedding at the church
I’m doing what Pete Townsend did
As he completed his ‘research’
I nearly climax on the bride
And the groom just smiles and waves
So I go round behind the church
And start furiously wanking on the Happyland graves
I’m having a wank in Happyland
And no one gives a damn
If only the real world could be like this
I’d be such a happy man
But sadly real life’s not like that
As I previously suggested
I’d barely got my cock out in Basildon town
And promptly got arrested
What do you do in the middle of the night
When it's dead, dead quiet and your Mum's asleep
And your Dad's asleep and the door is shut
And the light is out and the room is dark
And the curtain’s drawn and you're on your own
Your bed is warm and your dream was rude
And your hand's restless and your knob is hard?
Have a wank, have a wank
Have a mutherfucking wank
I'm getting out my cock
I pull my foreskin back
I reveal my acorn
And give it a little smack
I'm thinking of ladies
Playing with their vulvas
And inserting objects
Into their women's areas
What do you do in the middle of the day
When the TV's shit and there's nothing on
When you got no money and you got no beer
And you've read the paper from cover to cover
The radio's playing a pile of shit like Darius Danesh and Robbie Williams
Who are the two biggest cunts in the whole wide world?
Have a wank
Have a mutherfucking wank
I'm getting out my cock
I'm gonna wank for Britain
I'm cumming in a sock
And then I'll put my kit on
I'm wanking as if
My life depended on it
I'm picturing some tits
I'm imagining a clit
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Come on, come on,
Come and have a wank with me
Wank your hairy cock with me
