Equal opportunities wank lyrics

You see a lot of dodgy things on the internet
But Little Kunt e-mailed me something that I just can't forget
It was a picture of a lady and she had special needs
But she wasn't sat complaining about her disability
She had no arms and legs and she was laying on the sack
She had a corey up her front bum and a dildo up her back
I felt disgusted with myself and went to press delete
I went to press delete, I went to press delete
A little voice inside my head said, "go on, beat your meat"

I had an equal opportunities wank
She's not got any arms but her jugs couldn't be finer
An equal opportunities wank
She's not got any legs but she's got a big vagina

As soon as I fell for her stumpy charms
I knew that I was hooked
I couldn't wait to turn on my PC
And have another look
I spent that summer with my knob in my hand
And my eyes glued to the screen
I imagine my shaft thrusting in and out
Of where those other chaps had been

I had an equal opportunities wank
She's not got any arms but her jugs couldn't be finer
An equal opportunities wank
She's not got any legs but she's got a big vagina

She really had a great big chuff