Britain’s got talent shows lyrics

I would like to go on a TV talent show
But when I approached them, they said no
I asked them what was wrong, they said they didn’t like my songs
So I’m gonna sort a different act out and go along
I’ll dress up in disguise and then right before their eyes
I’ll jump out from the curtain with a surprise

And I’ll go
Simon look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Cheryl look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Louie look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Scary Spice look at this: Ur hur hur

When I go on and do my new act the crowd will all go wild
Cos I’ll be wanking off my helmet whilst crying like a child
It will make a pleasant change, from dogs let off their leads
And the usual shitty dance routines by kids with special needs
Then when they sling me off the show, I’ll just go on The Voice
And even though she likes the muff, Jessie J will get all moist

When I go
Jessie J look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Will.I.Am look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Tom Jones look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
That one from the Kaiser Chiefs look at this: Ur hur hur
Piers Morgan look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
David Walliams look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Len Goodman look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Nasty Nigel look at this: Ur hur hur

Then I’ll turn to Amanda Holden as I wank and look bereft
And say, “This is what Les did after you left”