Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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How have things been going, you all done and dusted for the summer shows or are there still some creases to iron out?
The show is never done and dusted, it’s like a constantly evolving orgasm. When you iron out one crease you suddenly realise there was another smaller crease that you didn’t previously notice which has become even more creased, if you get my drift.
 

What’s it like bringing a show to the Fringe and being part of their amazing line up?
It’s sort of like doing a regular show, except you get paid less and the audience are more drunk.

Who has inspired your music, do you try and get some original stuff in your show?
Coming from Basildon, Essex my musical inspiration comes from other Basildonians who came good, like Depeche Mode, Vince Clarke and Terry Marsh. All my music is original, apart from a couple of thinly veiled rip offs that I try and pass off as my own.
 

Have there been any obstacles in producing this show?
I tried for a few years to get a fringe show on, and got knockbacks from all the main comedy venues and even one of the free ones! I had pretty much given up on the idea when last year a mate recommended the Laughing Horse Free Festival, so I sent them my application with some pornographic Polaroids of my ex-girlfriend and they took a chance on us.

What was the best feedback you got
from the audience or the press?

I had a female audience member offer to
fellate me in exchange for a free t-shirt.
Unfortunately the press haven’t been quite

so forthcoming.

What was the best and worst shows
you played?

Last year’s run was full up every night and
on the last night I ended up doing 2 shows,
one after the other, so we could fit everyone
in. That was the best one.
The worst one was when there were these
4 Glaswegian skinheads in, one in particular
who was built like a brick shithouse. They
didn’t look that impressed and disappeared
after a couple of songs. I saw the empty
seats and offered them to the people
standing at the back joking, “hopefully the
big bastard that was sat there hasn’t just
nipped into the ladies toilet to do some coke.”
At that point the ladies toilet door was
suddenly flung open and there he was.
”What did you say, big man?” he bellowed.
”I j… j… just wondered where you were.”
”I was in the ladies toilets doing coke.”
I cacked myself but the audience was nervously laughing at everything that was said, which only wound him up further. Eventually he left the room and I said to the audience,
“Thank fuck for that, I didn’t see any of you weedy fuckers about to help me out with that great big cunt.”
At which point he stuck his head round the door and said, “I’m still here, big man.”
I shat myself again and decided if I just said sorry a lot he might go. Luckily that seemed to work.

What can people expect?
If you are after highbrow topical comedy with a social insight then you will be sorely disappointed. However, if you’re after a 6’4” bloke in hi vis singing songs about wanking and flippantly trampling all over the graves of dead celebrities then you’ve come to the right place.

Any new tricks up your sleeve?
This show is based around our Greatest Minor Internet Hits album
Complete Kunt, so people can expect to hear all of their favourite Kunt and the Gang songs, as well as a few random selections which will differ from night to night to keep things fresh.

 

Who has been an inspiration to you?
Depeche Mode, vintage Viz and Barry George.
 

What advice would you give other groups who might be bringing a show to the Fringe?
Visit as a punter first to get a feel for where the venues are and what time of day suits your show. Don’t give up if you get a couple of knockbacks. Try doing a free show for a short run to find your feet. And bring more pants than you think you will need, if you have a drink every night the odds say you will at some point soil a set.