Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Do you like doing interviews?
Yes, it gives me the opportunity to spout a load of shit to anyone that will listen.

 

What kind of vision did you have when KATG first came about and has it been all you hoped it would be so far? Have people been less or more offended than you expected them to be?

I didn’t really set out with a plan or even think that it might offend people. I just wrote down what was in my head and did some local gigs for a bit of a laugh. When I put the songs up on Myspace it started to seep out there without me really having to do anything.
It’s strange because I think I make celebratory good time music but it does seem to make some people really angry!

 

What difficulties (or for that matter advantages) has being so far removed from the mainstream brought about?
The main difficulty is no-one will give you a gig if they haven’t heard of you before. They hear the name ‘Kunt and the Gang’ and are immediately put off! One of the main advantages is that I don’t have to deal with loads of insincere music industry pricks!


It seems that a lot of what you do has a punk DIY ethic to it, is this dictated by the nature of the material or did you make a conscious choice to be remain as independent as possible?

I like the idea of doing everything yourself, from recording the songs to designing the artwork to flogging the CDs direct to people at gigs. That way you see the whole process from start to finish, a bit like real life; you give birth to a baby, you are involved in the raising of that baby and then when it is fully grown you pass it on to someone else who will love it for a couple of years until something better comes along.

 

When I first got into KATG I did think that it was one it was one of the most extreme musical experiences I had ever had. It makes so-called extreme music sound like a load of cry babies who are angry at their dads. Is it important to you to be as extreme as you are? Is their any subject you wouldn’t talk about?

The stuff I sing about is pretty much the stuff that me and my mates talk about down the pub after a few pints so it never really feels extreme. I think any subject is fair game if you can find the right angle on it. Obviously there’s nothing funny about people interfering with little kids and making them say thank you afterwards but, as Chris Morris showed with his Brasseye paedo special, there is comedy mileage in people’s hysteria surrounding the subject.

Are there any songs you have recorded that

you wouldn’t play live?

That said, there’s a song called “Maybe I’m a

Nonce” which I played at my first ever gig. The

song was about the time I was knocking one

out while perusing ladies’ lingerie in a catalogue.

As I went to do my beans I turned over the

page and was confronted with the kids’

underwear section, by which time it was too l

ate to stop the rush!
I have only played the song once since then

because of the extreme (and not in a good way)

reaction it provoked. Even some of my best

mates were wincing. I think it’s just the word

‘nonce’ that sets people on edge.
 

The trilogy is complete. Often the

completion of these kind of things can

herald a new direction for a band, what

kind of stuff are you writing at the

moment? What's next for KATG?

Yes you’re right, the completion of something

as complex and emotionally draining as a trilogy

of works can often represent a line drawn under said creations and lead to a completely fresh approach to any subsequent work. Not in our case though, we’ll keep trotting out the same tired old shite until no one is listening anymore.

When I saw you live that is where the whole thing made more sense it was almost like performance art. How important is the live aspect of what you do and is it a cathartic experience?

I think live gigs are a brilliant way of getting your songs across. The CDs do a good job but there’s nothing like experiencing things first hand. I would equate it to the difference between a bird sending you a text message saying she’s not got any pants on, and actually being there in person and seeing a lady’s frontbottom in front of your face.
 

Do you or Little Kunt have any diva moments and if so what brings them about?

Little Kunt is prone to diva-esque outbursts. I think it might be the amount of coke he shoves up his little hooter. I on the other hand am fairly reasonable most of the time, although I have been known to blow a gasket if I have gone more than a few days without manoeuvring my erect member into a lady’s love socket.

What’s the best/worst gig you have ever done?

Without doubt the best one was an all-ages gig in Essex. There were 500 14-16 year olds who went absolutely mad for it. I spent half an hour after the gig signing a queue of teenage girls’ knockers! I’m not sure whether that was legal but my thoughts later on that evening definitely weren’t.
The worst one was at a “Gentleman’s evening” on Canvey Island, where I was bottled off in a beer-fuelled rage by a hundred strong mob who just wanted to see some strippers’ frontbottoms.


Looking forward to playing the Rebellion Festival? How do you think you will go down (no pun intended)?

The Rebellion Festival is great. I love playing to Punk crowds because they’ve got no hang-ups about anything and usually just want to have a beer and a good time. I’ve heard Lloyd Grossman is playing there with his band this year. It’s my mission in life to get my photo taken with him and a jar of his delicious relish.

Your songs are songs that largely address various aspects of the modern human condition and aren’t overtly filled with anger or hate do you think that it would have been too obvious and easy to write material like this?

I bum around in the daytime, watch Countdown and write songs about stuff that’s happened. I play 5 a side football. I do gigs and I get wanked off. What’s there to be angry about?!
 

Is anonymity a concern for you? I’ve read before that you say your mum thinks you work in KFC in the evenings?

That one got blown out of the water when she saw the story in the local paper: “Singer’s Vulgar Name Sparks Outrage”. She knows what I’m up to now but is not that keen.
 

Any chance of a protest song or a lament for the loss of Carol Vorderman from Countdown? Candle in The Wind 2008 perhaps or something similar?
There is one in the pipeline. Elton had it made changing about 4 words to make his song about Princess Di. I will be studying the wily old cunt’s methods in an attempt to get a big sympathy vote hit. I’m going to pull out all the stops. I might even get a disabled kids’ choir in.
 

Anything else coming out on Disco Minge?

We are touring through October and November with the “Men With Beards” E.P. It’s a multimedia CD with an animated video, ringtones and some brand new tracks including our tribute to Barry George. Yes, it’s going to be really good.