Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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That’s my erection

Well I was dancing in a club to some R and B
I started grinding to the music with a drunk lady
When all of a sudden she said to me
Something in your pocket keeps on prodding me

Is it your wallet or your mobile phone
It feels like a biscuit Boost or Toblerone
Is it an asthma inhaler, or maybe your keys
But geez, can you take it out your pocket, please?

If you insist…

That’s my erection. You’ve turned me on
But don’t worry in a minute it will soon be gone
Cos I’m about to climax, so don’t you frown
After spunk comes out the end it soon goes down

That’s my erection, that’s my erection
My erect cock, my erect nob, that’s my erection
That’s my erec-sho-hon, that’s my erec-sho-hon
I’ve got wood and it feels good, that’s my erection

(I like to put my erection in a lady’s mouth)


I got a job as a school caretaker to earn some bread
A bit like Ian Huntley but no one ended up dead
I got the sack because of my warhead
Sticking out my boiler suit and so I said

Well, it’s not really my fault…

That’s my erection. I blame the little quims
Of the teenage girls when they were doing gym
They left my member in an aroused state
But it’ll be gone as soon as I’ve had a chance to masturbate


That’s my erection, that’s my erection
I’m a loner with a boner, my erection
That’s my erec-sho-hon, that’s my erec-sho-hon
I beg your pardon for my hard-on, my erection

(I like to put my erection in a lady’s flange)


I met a bird in a club the night Jade Goody died
We went back to her house and she asked me inside
She put the telly on. We were getting it on
Then suddenly I felt my erection gone

I said, “Don’t take it personally…”

That’s my erection. It was defused
When I saw Jade’s mum crying on the news
She left my member in a flaccid state
Her withered arm in her pocket caused it to deflate

That’s my erection, that’s my erection
It’s deflated, it’s abated, my erection
That’s my erec-sho-hon, that’s my erec-sho-hon
Jackie Goody killed my woody, my erection

(I wouldn’t like to put my erection in Jade’s mum’s withered hand)
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