Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Angry Birds gave me piles

I moved in with my girlfriend but I was a bellend
I never really knew what a nagging cunt she could be
To stop me giving her a slap, I downloaded this app
So I wouldn’t have to listen to her mithering at me

When she was keeping on, I locked myself in the john
I told her I had IBS but it was just a smokescreen
Eventually I won, she went back to her mum’s
But I was left with a problem I hadn’t foreseen

See I hadn’t been doing a turd, I’d been playing Angry Birds
And my unenvisaged hitch started with a rectal itch

Angry Birds is the most addictive game by miles
Thank you Angry Birds, you gave me piles
Now sharp rectal stabbing pains have replaced my smiles
Thank you Angry Birds you gave me piles

Thank you Angry Birds you gave me piles

She left me on my own but I still had my iPhone
My Angry Birds addiction I kept feeding
I always played that app, especially when I had a crap
Until one day I suffered with rectal bleeding

So I went to my docs, and stripped down to my socks and told him
I’d played Angry Birds to fill the void
As he looked up my chad, he said, “The news is bad,
Angry Birds has given you haemmorhoids”

Angry Birds is the most addictive game by miles
Thank you Angry Birds, you gave me piles
Now sharp rectal stabbing pains have replaced my smiles
Thank you Angry Birds you gave me piles
Now ‘Haemmorhoids sufferer’ is on my medical files
Thank you Angry Birds you gave me piles

Thank you Angry Birds you gave me piles
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