Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
JOIN THE KUNT LIST - STILL OPEN!
Hear first about any news, freebies and 
the sad, inevitable soulless comeback:

E-mail:
 
Don’t be a kunt, download legally:
You brought a paedo along to 5-a-side

On Monday nights in Pitsea, there’s not that much to do
So a game of 5-a-side is something I like to pursue
My mate Hayden brought his mate Matt whose footwork was quite nifty
But I always sensed something about him that was rather shifty

He was flash, he had all the skill, like Figo or Deco
But the next day there’s his mugshot on the front page of the Echo
I phoned Hayden and called him a cunt, “What’s that for?” he replied
Because you brought a paedo along to five a side

The big I am, it was just a sham
He’d been watching kids whack off into a webcam

You brought a paedo along to five a side
We’ve had some oddballs but no one who had that much to hide
He told us he would pay next week it turned out that he lied
You brought a paedo along to five a side

He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh
He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh
He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh
He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh

He always scored his one on ones and often scored from range
But he lingered in the changing rooms when kids were getting changed
He often used a lollipop to go past an opponent
In gaining children’s trust, they were also a key component

He’d step over once then twice and then unleash a shot
I thought he was joking when he said Tracey Beaker was quite hot
When he was convicted, from the sports club he got sacked
They couldn’t trust him around girls whose hymens were intact

He weighed in with goals, he was a decent striker
I’ve got a little cousin, I think he might like her

You brought a paedo along to five a side
I thought he must have kids at school cos he hung about outside
From now on a CRB check they’ll need to provide
Since you brought a paedo along to five a side

You bought a paedo along to 5 a side
You bought a paedo along to 5 a side
I thought his bird worked in a museum. He said she was a guide
You bought a paedo along to 5 a side

He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh
He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh
He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, whoah-oh
He was a paedo, whoah-oh, whoah-oh, paedo
LYRICS BY ALBUM Support Kunt! Download legally! Lyrics
Sloppy Seconds