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When’s It OK To Have A Wank?

My mate suddenly died with whom I played 5 a side
He was really quite a decent chap
But later that same eve, as I had a little grieve
I accidentally felt sexy in my lap

I wouldn’t usually think twice about making myself feel nice
But this time it just didn’t seem right
For my seed to be released, with him so recently deceased
So I thought I’d leave it for another night

Then as I sat alone, I thought with cause of death unknown
Was it suicide or did he choke?
Yes I want to pay respect but now my nob’s fully erect
And it could be weeks before he’s up in smoke

When’s it OK to have a wank?
How long do you wait before you spank your plank?
I’m afraid the lines are blurred, should you wait till they’re interred
When’s it OK to have a wank?

I remember when my nan got splattered by that van
That was the time that upset me most
She’d survived the blitz but she ended up in bits
So I sellotaped some flowers to a lamp post

As I started to cry, a girl in shorts walked by
And I couldn’t help but have a little stare
As I stood there at the scene, I felt a stirring in my jean
And usually I’d have wanked off then and there

But with my nan’s death on my mind, I think that you will find
I didn’t take my usual course of action
I wonder if Mick Jagger been bereaved, when the famous line was conceived
That he couldn’t get no satisfaction

When’s it OK to have a wank
How long did Mick wait after Brian Jones sank
After Brian drowned, did Mick wait till he was in the ground
When’s it OK to have a wank?

When’s it OK to have a wank?
How long do you wait before you spank your plank?
When you’ve lost someone you cherished, how long do you wait after they’ve perished?
When’s it OK to have a wank?

If you don’t have a wank the pressure all builds up
And you end up killing prostitutes
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