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Sit Down Wee

I used to think that I was cool, as cool as Henry Winkler
But then my penis started acting like a garden sprinkler
My Mum was sympathetic at first and showed a bit of lenience
Until her bathroom started smelling like a public convenience

I'd pissed all over the toilet seat and all over the mat
When I sprayed the knitted dolly on the spare bog roll she couldn't handle that
I was suffering from soggy socks and turn-ups filled with piss
But one day I weed while having a poo and I thought "It's easy this..."

A sit down wee, a sit down wee
Real men say you should stand up
But I just don't agree
Now my wee is penal, not vaginal
You won't find me at a urinal
A seated leak is my technique
I’ll have a sit down wee

Those who sprinkle when they tinkle - sit down and have a wee
Those who dribble after a widdle - sit down and have a wee
If you pop your cock between your legs you'll have no trouble with the dregs
You'll end up doing more number twos but that comes with the territory

A sit down wee, a sit down wee
If you want your shoes to remain new
Well, then I decree
If it's good enough for Larry David
Then it's good enough for me!
Sitting down's not just for brown
I'll have a sit down wee
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