Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Don’t be a kunt, download legally: Shannon Matthews
The Musical
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SHANNON AIN’T DEAD (SHE’S UNDER MY BED)

Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under my bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under my bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under my bed

We all have skeletons in the closet
But mine’s not a skeleton yet
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo

And there are many things
That I’ve done in the past that I’d rather forget
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo

But her mum said
That we could get a big reward
So I brought round here
On the back seat of my Ford
And I can’t explain
What were going through my head
Shannon’s alive, yep she’s fucked up on drugs
But on the plus side she’s not dead

Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under his bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under his bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under his bed

We all have skeletons in the closet
But mine’s not a skeleton yet
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo

Yes I’ve been keeping
A chubby, missing girl in my flat as a pet
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo

I had her tethered
To a beam up in the attic
But I’d never murder her
Don’t be so melodramatic
And I’m not a paedo
Of that I’m quite emphatic
Shannon’s alive, she hasn’t been diddled with
And she’s definitely not dead

Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under his bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under his bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under his bed

We all have genitals in our undies
But mine are not a sexual threat
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo

If you say “nipple”
I think of the country next to Tibet
Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo

It got out of hand
When the old bill got involved
And then the papers said
They’d give a reward if it were solved
And I can’t explain
What were going through my head
But if I’d have known you were coming round
I’d have kept her up me shed

Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under my bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under my bed
Shannon ain’t dead, she’s under my bed