Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Before I Get Famous
I want to do a poo at Paul’s

Everybody defecates
It’s just something that we do
You pull your pants down, your rectum opens
And faeces passes through
I myself, go once or twice a day
And each time I feel the need
I pack a rucksack and head round Paul’s
With speed, so I can do the deed

Because
I want to do a poo at Paul’s house
I want to do a poo at Paul’s
If anyone said otherwise
I’d suggest they must be fools
I go there for the ambiance
And I stay to lay some stools
If I could pick a bog where I could lay a log
I’d always do a poo at Paul’s

It’s got a lovely air freshener
That gives off a lovely scent
It smells of pine, not human shit
That’s excellent, not excrement
But I think Paul’s mum is getting peeved
With me turning up touching cloth
With a rucksack full of books and mags
To read while I curl one off

I want to do a poo at Paul’s house
I want to do a poo at Paul’s
Because no other toilet quite compares
I’d even say it rules
I've had number twos in lots of loos
Yes I've answered nature’s calls
If I could choose a site where I could do a shite
I’d always do a poo at Paul’s

One time I visited a public loo
I didn’t like it at all
There was a man playing with himself at a urinal
Who looked like George Michael
They had shiny toilet paper
And I smudged cack up my balls
That’s never an issue with the soft toilet tissue
When you do a poo at Paul’s

Because
I want to do a poo at Paul’s house
I want to do a poo at Paul’s
Nowadays I wipe front to back
To avoid the family jewels
I’d never shit into my hand
And smear it up the walls
If I had to plump for just one place to dump
I’d always do a poo at Paul’s

I want to do a poo at
Squeeze out a number two at
I want to do a poo at Paul’s
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