Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Period Pants

Me and my girlfriend, we were getting on great
We were so in love – I’d found my soul mate
So one day when she’d popped up the bank
I looked for some of her knickers to sniff while I had a wank

I went through her washing bin, and I found a skirt
A couple of bras and a hooded sweatshirt
So I stripped myself naked and put on her bra
And delved back in the washing bin but this time I went too far

That was the end of her and me
Etched on my retinas I couldn’t unsee

Her period pants, her period pants
They were big, they were old, they were baggy and stained
Her period pants, her period pants
The moment that I saw them no love remained


Period pants, period pants
Pe-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eriod pants
Period pants, period pants
Pe-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eriod pants

Next thing I know - she’s caught me in the act
She forgot her bank card - and had to pop back
She was crying and screaming – she wasn’t best pleased
I said you think you’re grossed out – what the fuck are these?

What I found there you wouldn’t hang on the line
It was an old friend of hers but no friend of mine

Her period pants, her period pants
I knew that our love had ended that day
Her period pants, her period pants
The elastic had perished and the lace was all grey


Her period pants, her period pants
Round my nan’s they’d be a duster, it’s a matter of pride
Her period pants, her period pants
The second that I saw them was when our love died
She wears them with a menstruating fanny inside
It’s the jammy old gusset that I couldn’t abide
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