Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Before I Get Famous
The loveliest lulu in Langdon Hills

My girlfriend she’s a moany old cunt
She’s too big from behind and she’s got nothing out front
She’s fucking annoying and she’s got B.O.
But she keeps a little secret that I bet you don’t know

I sometimes think I should give her the flick
When she’s not got any make up on she makes me feel sick
And she’s no good in a pub quiz cos she’s so fucking thick
But there’s a good reason I don’t tell her to go
Because she keeps a little secret that I bet you don’t know
 
She’s got the loveliest lulu in Langdon Hills
I can’t wait to get home and give it a feel
My joie de vivre is because of her beaver
I’m a happy man when I see her bearded clam


She’s got the perfect punani, yes it looks just right
It’s not too baggy and it’s not too tight
It’s not too smelly and it’s not too bland
I can get a few fingers in but not my whole hand

Her furry pie, is pleasing on the eye and that’s why
I love a lady, I love a lady, I love a lady with a lovely lulu
I love a lady, I love a lady, I love a lady with a fabulous flange

I suppose in truth I’m not such a good catch
For a lady with such a wonderful snatch
But d’you know why she hasn’t given me the elbow
Because I keep a little secret that I bet you don’t know

I’ve got the bestest boner in Basildon Town
When I get it out a crowd gathers around
If your cock was this lovely you’d never get bored
When people see it for the first time they’ve been known to applaud

It’s not too floppy and it’s not too hard
It’s not too traditional or too avant-garde
It’s not too bald or too hirsute
And it’s got a little mole on that makes it look cute
Its spunk is lovely, it tastes like a dream
Like a float with cream soda and Rossi’s ice cream
It’s not too narrow and it’s not too wide
If you’ve got a lovely vulva I could stick it inside

Except…
I love a lady, I love a lady, I love a lady with a lovely lulu
I love a lady, I love a lady, I love a lady with a marvellous minge

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