Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Things

Every night I sit here in my front room
I squeeze in here through a tiny gap
My chair is in the middle of piles and piles of magazines
I have a ready meal for dinner on my lap

Surrounded by
Things
That I like to save
Things
Some flyers from a rave
Things
An old Airfix kit
A pair of pants that no longer fit
Things
I don’t use anymore
A load of newspapers blocking the door
Thinking ‘bout the things I used to use

Memories are all I have to cling to
I can’t get through the hall to my bedroom
Cos it’s piled up of paint pots which are full of shit and piss
I know they’ll come in handy some day soon

I’m surrounded by
Things
Old VHS tapes
Things
Planet of the Apes
Things
Hundreds of old flicks
Police Academy 1 - 6
Things
Like in Woman in Red
That bit when Kelly LeBrock gets up off the bed
Thinking ‘bout the things I used to use

 
You remember that bit
That was our favourite bit in the whole film wernit
I wore the pause button out on my VHS remote trying to stop it at that exact point
Remember we’d put that on if ever we were feeling a bit down
You’d crack open a new pack of handy andies
And it would really cheer us up

I thought that I might venture to the bathroom
But there’s old car parts in the bath and sink
I haven’t washed my helmet for a fortnight
It’s cheesy and it’s kicking up a stink

I’m thinking of
Things
An infestation of flies
Things
Eating your eyes
Things
Crawling in your hair
Your corpse decaying in your chair
Things
That I keep every day
I haven’t told anyone that you passed away
I’m thinking ‘bout the things we used to do
 
And the memories are all I have to cling to
And I keep these things cos they remind me of you
Every paint pot full of wee and poo

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Little Kunt
Kuntrarian
Lyrics reproduced courtesy of
Little Kunt.

The views of Little Kunt do not in any way represent Kunt and the Gang.