Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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24 minutes from Tilbury

Dearest darling
I have to text to say that I won’t be round for a smoke
Something happened to me
As I was walking round now I feel a right lousy bloke

Cos I was only 24 minutes from Tilbury
At the Tesco garage in Chadwell St. Mary
I only popped by for some skins
Then I heard something move by the bins

It was then I saw her
As I walked up onto the garage forecourt she was there
She walked up to me
She had a pink velour tracksuit on and quite greasy hair

I was only 24 minutes from Tilbury
At the Tesco garage in Chadwell St. Mary
She told me her name was Linda
As we stood at the night service window

Waiting for an Asian bloke to acknowledge we were there
But he was on the phone to one of his mates
And he kept talking to his mate on the phone
Even when he was serving us
I’m not being racist but it’s just rude, innit

[Instrumental]

I was only 24 minutes from Tilbury
At the Tesco garage in Chadwell St. Mary
It was then she decreed
That she had a big bag of weed

So we went back to her gaff
She built a spliff, we had a big smoke, I could not avoid
Soon were smoking, toking
I got so mashed I went through her records and found some Pink Floyd

It was predictably then that I got the munchies
Luckily I’d bought a grab bag of crisps and two crunchies
I’m sorry I did a bunk
But she must have had half ounce of skunk

You just had a fiver’s deal of puff, it’s a no brainer

I guess you’ll never never never
Buy block again
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Little Kunt
Kuntrarian
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Little Kunt.

The views of Little Kunt do not in any way represent Kunt and the Gang.