Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Don’t be a kunt, download legally: Hurry Up And Suck Me Off
Before I Get Famous
Hurry up and suck me off before I get famous

This song’s to all the munters and the mingers and the malts
Until this point I was prepared to overlook your faults
If you had a bit of BO or an unattractive trait
Like a little bit of facial hair or a bit of extra weight

It was never an issue, until I nearly charted
And I realise this news will probably leave you broken hearted
But when I go top 40 and start racing up the charts
I’ll be getting better offers off some better looking tarts
 
There’s only so much of me to go around...

But there’s a window of opportunity from now until then
So make the most of it as after that you won’t see my nob again

Because…
If I raise my standards, surely you couldn’t blame us
Hurry up and suck me off before I get famous
If I raise my standards, surely you couldn’t blame us
Hurry up and suck me off before I get famous

Hurry up and suck him off before he gets famous

If I had a top 40 hit I would raise the bar
I’d scrap my Ford Fiesta and I’d buy a Jaguar
I’d stop buying Tesco Value and I’d just buy Tesco finest
And girls would all get moist, even ones who suffer from vaginal dryness

When I go top 40 and get played by Bruno Brookes
I’ll be fornicating faces of some bints with better looks
Cos if I’m gonna get sucked off then maybe fall in love
It’ll be a proper model, not one who’s advertising Dove

Fucking state of ‘em…

I’ll be up to my nuts in guts with lots of lovely sluts
Who’ve had their bangers out in Zoo and FHM and Nuts

Because…
If I raise my standards, surely you couldn’t blame us
Hurry up and suck me off before I get famous
I’ll be too busy with my stiffy up Jordan’s anus
So hurry up and suck me off before I get famous

Hurry up and suck him off before he gets famous

Hurry up and suck me off before I get famous
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