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Knocked Out Earlier
Heather Mills

A collision with a police motorbike in 1993
Meant Heather Mills' left leg was cut off just below the knee

Heather, everyone thinks you're a money-grabbing slag
Who wanked off Arabs for cash and there's no one you wouldn't shag
You're a compulsive liar, it said in The Sun
You're worse that Myra Hindley, Maxine Carr and Rose West rolled into one
But I'm sure there's a side to you that I’ll probably never see
Much like that bit of leg you lost in 1993

Heather Mills-McCartney you're my favourite amputee
Now will you share the money you've robbed off Sir Paul with me?
Heather Mills-McCartney you're my favourite amputee
And even if I knew two others you'd still be in my top three
But that's just me.  Do you agree, Mr. B?

[Mr. B’s rap]

You said you've never done any porn but on the web I saw some stuff
It looked like it was the 80s though because you had a great big muff
There was some German bloke with his cock out and next to him you were lying
I didn't see any penetration shots though it wasn't through want of trying
Paul McCartney's kids never liked you from the word go
You couldn't make a veggie sausage and you nicked their old man's dough
But I'll love you as much as anyone I've ever loved before
Actually there's one leg less to love so proportionally that's more

Heather Mills-McCartney you're my favourite amputee
Now will you share the money you've robbed off Sir Paul with me?
Heather Mills-McCartney you're my favourite amputee
Now give us a flash of your hairy gash
And a look at your stumpy knee
Now give us a flash of your hairy gash
And a look at your stumpy knee
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