Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Dee (The Oldest Groupie)

She came backstage at a Kunt gig, she had 50 years on me
If I'm in my early 30's, well, that makes her 83
She said "D'you know what a groupie is?" and I said "Well, of course!"
She came and sat down on my lap, she smelt just like mint sauce

She told me I had what it takes to make it in showbiz
She said she once fucked Arthur Askey, that's just how old she is
From the Rolling Stones to Razorlight, they've all been up her clout
She poured her bloomers to one side and a fucking moth flew out

Dee, she's the oldest groupie.
Her tits are round her waist
And she weed on my face
When I licked out her pussy

Oh, Dee, what do I see in thee?
She lives in a sheltered flat
She's got a shrivelled up twat
But I don't care about that

She said she once fucked Tommy Cooper, he did it 'just like that!'
He conjured up a hard-on and he stuck it up her twat
She showed me pictures of her threesomes, I couldn't believe my eyes
She'd been rogered by Rogers & Hammerstein and skied with Morecambe & Wise

She'd been spit-roasted by Chas & Dave and felched by Blazin' Squad
She got a facial when the lead singer from Showaddywaddy lost his wad
From Adam Ant to Zucchuro they'd all been up her snitch
She'd pulled a train on Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch

Dee, she's the oldest groupie
Her tits are round her waist
And she weed on my face
When I licked out her pussy

Oh, Dee, what do I see in thee?
She lives in a sheltered flat
She's got a shrivelled up twat
But we can lubricate that
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