the internet’s most kuntish songs and videos Book
Hear first about any news, freebies and 
the sad, inevitable soulless comeback:

Don’t be a kunt, download legally:

Hi, how are things?
As D:Ream would say ‘Things can only get better’… Our YouTube account got deleted the day before the Royal Wedding in an incident which I’m sure was not unrelated to our recent video featuring half the Royal family having a wank.


How would you describe Kunt and the Gang to anyone not familiar with your work?
It’s a bit like Justin Bieber, if you took away the insipid music and the 14-year-old American kid with no pubes and replaced it with a 6 foot 4 inch bloke from Essex in hi-vis overalls, singing songs about wanking.


Your Facebook page describes Kunt and the Gang as being responsible for some of the internet’s wrongest songs and videos, considering some of the stuff on the www that is quite an achievement, you must be extremely proud?
It makes me swell with pride every time I think about it. And if Jade Goody was alive today I’m sure she would say that us keep mentioning her in our songs is a fitting testament.


Your most recent track “Fucksticks”

was your Royal Wedding anthem,

can you tell us a bit about the track

and how it came about?
Fucksticks first appeared on our 2005

album ‘I have another wank and I have

another cry’ and became a live favourite.

It tells the story of how my Grandad would

curse whenever anything went wrong and

how after his death I adopted his curse-

word to keep his memory alive. When the

Royal Wedding was announced I had an

idea for an alternative version of Fucksticks,

which would feature Prince Philip and Prince

William cursing about the various Royal

indiscretions and misdemeanours that have

happened throughout the years, like Harry

dressing up as a Nazi and Fergie’s toe-

sucking incident. I called it the Royal

Wedding Souvenir Version and the video

was single-handedly responsible for our

YouTube channel getting deleted! But you

can still see it here:


We understand it made it to number 63

in the charts, which is quite an

achievement, that must be pretty pleasing?
It is quite an achievement for something with no major label, no mainstream radio or press to get anywhere near the charts, especially something with a video featuring prominent members of the Royal Family sexually satisfying themselves, but we had a massive underground support for this and there’s been a lot of talk that our sales might have been nobbled so that we were kept out the top 40 on Royal Wedding week.


You head to Nottingham soon, what have your past experiences in Nottingham been like?
Nottingham gigs are normally really good, and there’s a good alternative and punk crowd. We generally team up with Arse Full Of Chips who are the only band we have followed and then raised the overall tone of the evening.


For those who have not yet experienced a Kunt and the Gang show what can they expect from your gig at The Maze next month?

There will be the usual barrage of filthy minor internet hits, plus a few new tracks. In the past people have accused our lyrics of being a bit vague so I have tried to make sure there is a clear message in the new material, starting with our new song Hurry Up And Suck Me Off Before I Get Famous.

Other than touring what else are Kunt and the Gang up to at the moment?
We are currently filming the third episode in our online series
Perverts On The Internet which will be tackling the serious subject of gun crime in a light-hearted and flippant manner. Sadly the first two episodes also disappeared when our YouTube account got deleted but they will be back up on our website soon.


And finally, why do you love Carol Vorderman so much?
What’s not to love? She’d be the perfect girlfriend – she’s clever, funny, experienced, she’s got a great set of bangers and if my imagination is anything to go by I reckon she’s got a smashing frontbottom as well.