Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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Describe yourself?

I am Kunt from Kunt and the Gang. I am a big lanky bastard with no rhythm and an excellent hairdo.

 

Tell us about your show at this year’s 2011 Edinburgh Fringe?

I will be playing a selection of my greatest minor internet hit songs accompanied by some new material that I am still trying to convince myself is as good as the old stuff.

 

What lasting image can be captured from seeing one of your shows?

People often tell me the image that stays with them when they close their eyes is my wanking and crying mime, as I perform in my song about love and loss, Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died.

 

What’s your catchphrase?

I’ve got two. One is “Fucksticks”

and the other is “Mother’s C*nt”.

 

What inspires your creative

processes?

I am inspired by ordinary people

who become famous for

extraordinary things, like Jade,

Barry George and Fred and Rose

West.

 

How would you describe the

perfect “Review”?

The one where the reviewer

turns up and rather than being a late 30-something middle class bellend who feels the need to spew out in print their boring opinions on my stuff happens to be an attractive bird who ends up not bothering with the review and noshing me off instead.

 

What really bugs you travelling from show to show?

People on motorways that don’t wave back at you.

 

Have you ever thought of leaving the arts and pursuing a so called, “steadier

career”?

Many times. But whenever I submit my CV which says I have spent the last seven and a half years sitting around in my pants watching Judge Judy and masturbating over the girl off Countdown, then going out in the evening singing songs about serial killers and shitting I never seem to get the callback.

 

You’re ruler of the People’s Republic in your local area. What’s the first law

you would enact?
I would shut all the Police Stations for a day and drink an invisible potion so I could go around titting up people’s girlfriends without fear of reprisal.

 

A film is made of your life. What would it be called and who would you

choose to play you?

It would be called If You Don’t Like This Film You’re A F*cking C*nt so people would have to like it, otherwise they’d just be a f*cking c*nt. I would be played by Jack Tweed.