Welcome to writerstailblock Kunt, in case there are any spastics out there that dont
know about you could you give us a little break down of who you are and what youre
I am Kunt from Kunt and the Gang. I see myself as the voice of working class Britain and in my music, rather than the bland X-
Your fascination with tidy OAP maths MILF Carol Vorderman is well documented but how do you feel knowing that she's been retired for the younger tidier Rachael Riley? Who do you reckon would win in a fight out of them? Who do you think we'd need to contact to set that up and find out?
I didn’t think I would ever get over Carol leaving Countdown, and I’d resigned myself
to changing channels for my mid-
If Carol and Rachel had a fight my money would be on Carol. She’s got some power in those thighs. If she managed to get on top I think it would be all over very quickly, much like if I ever got to have it off with her.
Have you considered that Vorderman's
self esteem is probably at rock bottom
right now, so you should probably
capitalise on her fragile emotional state
while you've got the chance?
I’m on the case. If you ever need to get in
touch with me in person I can be located in
the bushes just outside her house. Carol
has recently joined Twitter but I have been
following her for years.
Everyone knows that singers in bands
are hip deep in fanny and I can't
imagine that it'd be any different for
you, have you got any chat up lines
that our readers could use to give them
half a chance with the lasses?
I don’t really go for cheesy chat up lines. I
think women find them a bit lame. I’ve
found that ladies prefer a more direct
approach. If you’re in a nightclub and a
girl keeps looking over, show her your
pubes. If a girl you like is not looking over,
just stand there with your pubes out until she does. It’s a well known fact that pubes are a sign of manliness so she will probably see your pubes, get a bit moist and then before you know it you’ll be in up to the almonds.
Your lyrics and stage shows have come under fire by Daily Mail readers for promoting antisocial behaviour for such harmless things as wanking in the woods and accidently sucking off bricklayers. We think its quite unfair that they dont give you an opportunity to defend yourself. Is there anything that you'd like say to clear your name? Have they ever considered that your songs "men with beards" & "perverts on the internet" are actually pretty valid life lessons that children should be aware of?
The internet has opened up a secret world of knowledge for young people. I never
knew where a clitoris was until I first got online when I was 28 -
I see it as my duty to help educate the younger generation in matters such as looking out for beardy internet nonces and the benefits of washing your helmet before you go on a night out.
I do feel honoured but I am fully aware that there is a fine line between bromance
and a regretful suckjob. I only hope my homo-
How do you feel knowing that skaters, with their love of drawing cocks on things and incessant self-
It makes me swell and feel a little proud. I feel like I might have missed my calling in life, if only I wasn’t such a complete and utter spastic on a skateboard, seeing as my self-
Where do you get your inspiration from?
I get my inspiration from things that happen in everyday life. And having too much time on my hands. For example, I was in the pub the other afternoon and went for a piss. The urinal was blocked so I went into the cubicle and someone had left a load of turds and wipes unflushed. As I pissed on the turds and re-
I’m pleased you noticed that I am all for equal opportunities. In my song Shaven Haven I also tactfully and in a non-
If you had to, would you rather eat chocolate flavoured shit or shit flavoured chocolate?
Chocolate flavoured shit. But then if shit was chocolate flavoured I think we’d all be eating it, especially in motorway services where a bar of chocolate costs about £1.30. You’d just nip in the bogs, curl one out into a serviette and nibble it on your journey. That gives me an idea, what about a bar of chocolate along the lines of Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut but with little bits of sweetcorn in?
Finally, ive just washed me helmet, any chance of a nosh?
Go on then, just this once.