Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
JOIN THE KUNT LIST - STILL OPEN!
Hear first about any news, freebies and 
the sad, inevitable soulless comeback:

E-mail:
 
Don’t be a kunt, download legally:

Describe your sound in no more than 6 words...

Your mum won't like it

 

Why should we come and see you?

Because I know where you live, I've got a jiffy bag and I need a poo. You do the maths.

 

Name one person who has influenced you most:

Barry George

 

What has made you happy today?

When I did a jobby this morning I wiped and there was nothing there. Result poo!

 

What has pissed you off?

I should have given a second cautionary wipe as I just noticed a small brown smudge on the back of my Y-fronts. Hopefully I just sat on a malteser.

 

Best South Coast venue?

Caroline of Brunswick in

Brighton is friendly and

very snug.

 

Now for some song title

based questions…

interpret the questions

as you please!

 

What's new pussycat?

I just left a dead mouse

in your shoe as a gift

and I've got my leg up in

the air so I can lick my

arsehole

 

Who do you think you are?

Stephen Fry but everyone else thinks I'm Roy Chubby Brown

 

Where's your head at?

He's retired now but I saw him down the shops buying chips and a pickled egg

 

How do you do what you do to me ?

It's called your walnut gland and I use my middle finger

 

How deep is your love?

Why, how deep is your hole?

 

Can you dig it?

No, I'm on incapacity benefit and some cunt's bound to catch me on video camera

 

When will you be famous?

As soon as the police find those prostitutes buried in my allotment

 

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Yep, it's CSI and a wank I'm afraid

 

Who Let The Dogs Out?

The 3am girls' editor

 

What time is love?

Anytime after dark in the car park of Thorndon Park  

 

Where is the love?

Down Josef Fritzl's cellar

 

Whose bed have your boots been under?

Shannon Matthew's uncle's

 

Should I stay or should I go?

It depends if you've got any gear or not

 

When will I see you again?

March 27th at the Soul Cellar