Upsetting squares and making ladies moist 2003 - 2016
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What can we look forward to if we slip in this new album into our players?
You can look forward to such a barrage of filth that you’ll feel the urge to run a flannel over your knackers when you’ve finished. I think this album has some of our best songs yet, “Men with beards (what are they hiding?)” is already becoming a firm favourite at gigs, and “I’m gonna lick you out” seems to be making ladies moist.

Has there being any pressure/conflict between you and Little Kunt in the making of this new album? If so dare we ask?
He’s been pressing me for more of an input, so I humoured him by letting him sing a couple of duets. He was off his face on crack most of the time so you didn’t know whether he’d be turning up at the studio waving a Swiss army knife around or crashed out at home with a pantful of runny big jobs.

Where do you get your

inspiration from to

make these

masterpieces?
It stems from having a lot

of time on your hands,

which invariably turns into

having your cock in your

hand. I thought I would

have run out of ideas by

now but the more you

tour, the more people

that come up and tell you

about the time they shit

themselves and you think,

oooh that’s gonna make

a good song!

Has the lovely Carol

Vorderman ever left

feedback on the track you made about your feelings for her?
I was sure when I wrote the song that she would hear it, feel the love and it would end up in me inserting my manhood into her frontbottom. Unfortunately that still has yet to happen, but also I haven’t heard anything from her lawyers which makes me think maybe she hasn’t heard it yet.

If you could of had any guest vocals on the new album, who would they be?
It would have to be some female pop star I was trying to get my end away with, so we’d end up stuck in a booth together and I could barricade the door and do a Joseph Fritzel. So to rephrase the question: ‘Which female popstars would you like to take hostage and systematically abuse over a period of several years?’... It would probably have to be any of Girls Aloud apart from the wafty ginger one, Belinda Carlisle, her out of Altered Images, Billie Piper, Rihanna, Beyonce, Nina from the Cardigans, Kim Wilde circa 1981, Avril Lavigne (as long as she didn’t bring any of her fucking dreadful records) or Shakira.