BANGERS AND MASH TOUR

10/05 COLCHESTER
          trotters CO1 1QX
16/05 ASHINGTON +CANCELLED+
          bubbles
17/05 NEWCASTLE
          trillians NE1 8ER
18/05 SUNDERLAND
          borough SR1 3NE
19/05 PRINCES RISBOROUGH
          george and dragon HP27 0AX
20/05 IPSWICH
          royal oak IP3 8 EB
22/05 LEEDS
          fab cafe LS2 8PL
23/05 NEWCASTLE UNDER LYME
          full moon ST5 2AU
24/05 MANCHESTER
          fab cafe M1 6DN
25/05 LIVERPOOL
          pilgrim L1 9HB
26/05 DUBLIN
          sweeneys
02/06 BASINGSTOKE
          sanctuary bar RG21 7NT
03/06 SHEERNESS
          castle ME12 1UN
04/06 BIRMINGHAM
          the end @ ballroom B4 7LS
06/06 BRIGHTON
          caroline of brunswick B1 4SB
07/06 DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL
          comedy tent-early show(on 8pm)
29/06 BRISTOL
          croft BS1 3RW
07/07 PETERBOROUGH
          revolution PE1 2TD
14/07 CANTERBURY
          maidens head CT1 3RS
27/07 NOTTINGHAM
          rock city NG1 5GG

05/08 REBELLION FESTIVAL
          winter gardens, Blackpool


As a rule of thumb…
DOORS USUALLY 7.30/8pm -
USUALLY ON STAGE 9 or 10pm

GOOGLE/CALL VENUES FOR MORE INFO!
 

1. Have a look up your loft and see if there's anything that makes you feel sexy.

2. Take a bumwipe shopping and discreetly leave it at the cash-desk.

3. Drive out to the countryside and interfere with yourself in a lay-by.

4. Find a lady you fancy then follow her home.

5. Put your finger in a rubber johnny and stick it in your back bum.

6. Write a letter to the local paper complaining about dogs' mess.

7. Shave your pubes off.

8. Take photos of your neighbours without them knowing.

9. Cut a hole in your pocket and smile at people in the street while touching your pinky.

10. Do some plops in a carrier bag and tip them over your neighbour's fence when they're at work.

11. Ask a lady if you can have a look at her front bottom.

12. Shave your dog's cock and bollocks.

13. Tuck your private parts in between your legs and photograph yourself as a lady.

14. Do a bit of poo on some paper, the fold it over to make a butterfly print.

15. Get a stiffy then show it to some ladies in the woods.

16. Set up a hotmail account in your mate's name then find something mucky on the internet and send it to his mum.

17. Buy a portion of chips in the town centre and chip up a traffic warden.

18. Sit right next to someone on a near-empty bus and keep passing wind.

19. Take a polaroid of your helmet and leave it in a book in the library.

20. Join friends re-united as Nobby Nobnuts and put your job as 'looking at my ding-dong in the mirror'.

21. Wear white trousers with no pants and shit yourself in the post office queue.

22. Make sure your mum's out then have a wank in every room.

23. Tell anyone new you meet that you're a stuntman.

24. Itch your bum inside your pants then ask a policeman for directions and insist on shaking his hand.

25. Shit in a jiffy bag and send it to Loose Women c/o ITV.

26. See if you can touch your helmet with your tongue. If you can, ignore all the above.